In memory of Madam Ho Choon Yee, a loving wife, mother and grandmother. I love you, mama.
Death is never an easy thing to accept. Whether it be our life, or the life of a loved one, death is probably the most difficult event to deal with when it occurs. And when it does happen, it leaves us with so many questions.
The strange thing about death lies in a paradox of its existence: we will all die someday, we accept this fact. We accept the fact that during our own lifetime, people around us whom we love will die. Of course we try hard to fight it because death is something we all want to avoid. But yet we accept it. It’s hard to think of any other similar "element" – an element that we accept, yet we try so hard to avoid.
What makes us "accept" death?
Is it because we know it is inevitable? Is it because we know that no matter how hard we try to escape it, it will claim us all one day, without exception, without prejudice? Being unable to avoid death surely plays a large role in its "acceptance".
But there is another reason: religion. Religion, in whatever shape, form or belief, teaches us that there is something else to look forward to "after death". Be it eternal paradise (or damnation, but more on that later), rebirth into another life on the path to Nirvana, or a meeting with aliens in UFOs, religion tells us that death should not be feared because there is something "more" to be experienced after death. It is this something that probably eludes some of the fear and makes us, to whatever limited extent, accept death.
But even in religion, a multitude of paradoxes appear that make it difficult to accept death. In itself, this is a paradox: religions removes the fear of death, thus making death easier to accept but its own paradoxes in relation to death make it difficult to accept death.
Religions, to some extent, are like competing entities, constantly competing against each other. Most religions professes to be the right faith – eternal happiness can only be achieved if you practice religion X. Believe in any other faith than this, and you will miss out (some religions are more blunt: "It’s this way to heaven, or you’re on the highway to hell, buster").
Many people of whatever faith (96% of the world’s population believe in some sort of eternal destiny and God), will probably hold it with them until their dying breath that their faith will be rewarded. It is this belief, this ultimate faith that probably makes death easier – they know that even in death, they will be taken care of.
But what if they’re wrong?
Rowan Atkinson (i.e. Mr. Bean), a talented British comedian, once played out a sketch of what the Devil would do on a typical day in Hell. One of his lines was particularly striking:
"All the Jews, yes you, stand over there with the Nazis. Oh, what are you doing here you ask? Oh, I’m sorry; didn’t anyone tell you? The Christians were right."
Certainly, Mr. Atkinson said it in jest and it was meant to be as such. But what it does do is slice deeply into the security of faith that we’ve all come to build around us. The simple truth of his statement is that there is no way to know whether your faith will protect you in death. At least, you won’t know until your time comes.
But that doesn’t mean we should stop believing. Against the thin veil of death, our belief is the only thing that will make us stronger. That in itself is reason enough to fortify our faith whenever we can.
Another paradox appears when people of different beliefs mix together. They may be friends, they may be family members, they may be just acquaintances. But difficult questions begin to appear when someone dies. Religion comforts us when someone close to us passes away, but under these circumstances, how can it? If you believe that only your religion will bring you eternal happiness, what are you supposed to think when your grandmother of a different religion passes away? How comforting can it be if your religion tells you that anyone who doesn’t believe in it will be facing eternal damnation? How then will you accept the death of your friend if, by definition of your religion, you have to believe that he’s burning in Hell? In situations like this, the whole fabric of religion collapses and religion, no longer the comforter in times of death, becomes the tormentor.
When this happens, the angels will weep for the tormented.
