For some reason i woke up this morning not wanting to dress up to go to work. First insane thought was to walk into office without any clothes on. Dismissed that nearly straight away. Then i thought that i would wear a T-shirt to work saying, "Fuck them all" (hahaha... i must have been hallucinating; i don't even have a shirt like that) - turned that idea in my head a few times before discarding it. PETRONAS, being the ultra-corporate place that it is, i didn't think that it would go down well with everyone. Stared in the sparse emptiness that is my closet and finally decided on a compromise: a Malay-Muslim style shirt in the tradition of Raihan (one of Malaysia's favoured nasyid groups). Ahhh.. felt nice to be different today; felt good to be out of place for once.
As i had a sushi dinner tonight with Azahan at the Hatsuhana, Bangsar, it struck me that we've been friends for quite a while. Considering that i keep in touch with absolutely none of my friends from my secondary school days (didn't have that many to begin with), and that my social sphere is relatively limited (acquaintences abound, but friends are few), the 5 years that we've known each other must be something of a record for me.
As i munched on the sushi, it made me wonder how friendships like ours are created. What is friendship? A sense of belonging? A feeling of similarity and comfort with another human being? What is it really, how do we form friendships, and why do they last or fail?
Sometimes, it not as though we plan who we want to be friends with; often it just happens. Two people put into the same environment get to know each other because of their proximity, feel comfortable with other, a trust begins to build and a friendship is created. Is that how it happens?
What about friendships that start out as such, but in the course of time becomes something more? Is this something that can be planned for? Or does it just happen? Can two people who've been friends, then transformed into lovers ever hope to remain friends, or does the emotional attachments that are created change the rule of the game permanently?
The sushi tasted good, real good tonight. It better; it put me back RM50. But i think it would have been less fun eating it alone, like the person who was sitting in the booth next to ours. He was eating the same thing we were, but not once did i see him smile. Maybe, at the end of the day, that's what friendship is all about: to give us reason, hope and belief to smile.