The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was a a very wise man when he said that we, as muslims (though i think this message is valid for all people, regardless of religion or belief), should never talk about another person behind the back of that person with someone else. It goes beyond the rule that you shouldn't say something about someone if you don't have anything good to say. Even if you have something good to say about a person, maybe its better not to say it to anyone else, not even if you're asked, or in polite, informal banter.
The guidance provided by the Prophet (pbuh), was not so much the fact that he didn't want muslims to slander each other or to say hurtful things about another muslim. Having had to personally deal with so much of that sort of problem during the early days of Medina and even before before he left Mecca at the early formations of the religion, he above all others, bore the brunt of many a gossip session, most of which were probably very unflattering.
But i suspect the real reason why he gave this advice is because he had a great understanding of the human psyche and the words that come out of our mouths - he knew that the moment words are spoken, its meaning would never be understood in its original form again. Often, the "first listener" (the person who is being spoken to), even that person may misunderstand what is being said. As there is always a danger for what was said to be repeated, the misunderstanding is easily compounded when it reaches the ear of the next person. From one misundersanding like this, whole relationships, once working well can be destroyed.
In this age of digital age, you would think that misunderstandings could be avoided: what is said can be recorded verbatim and replayed. Surely the message will be clearly understood then? No, problems can still occur.
Things in print, words said and repeated verbatim share a common fault: it is so easy for them to be taken out of context. Context is essentially the environment in which those words were spoken. A person who wasn't there can't appreciate this context, and even if the context was explained, that's another potential point of failure - errors in the explanation could makes things even worse. Sometimes, words are plucked from an overall message, thus creating an illusion that they mean something they don't.
I remember a game we once played in primary school (i was 9 i think). Looking back at it, this may be the only significant thing i learned from that age, and i would just like to say a silent thank you to the teacher who showed us. She started off by telling one kid at one end of the class a short message. No more than 30 words long. And asked that one person to repeat it verbatim to the person next to him/her. And so the message was repeated from one classmate to another until it reached the last student. By the time it got there, it was completely different from the original message. If was even completely different from the version i heard and told to the person next to me and i was one of the later ones to receive and pass it on! The moral of the game is obvious.
Leave a comment