I have no idea who -me- (that's all this person wants to be known as) is, but the stories that -me- has shared with the VOI have been absolutely hilarious experiences. What makes the stories even more valuable is that each seem to have a deeper meaning above and beyond the humour. A blend of humour, education and just silly logic = a great, GREAT read.
Catch up on the latest tale of Mat Yan and -me-, this time about women and what they talk about.
Thanks, -me- for your willingness to share. I really appreciate it.
Below is the posting in full:
Waaa! So many blogs talk!Oh ya! Congratulation for the first 100th. No mystery prizes? Tickets for two to Bora Bora ke? 34" inch flat screen wega ke? ;) Well, hope this talk about achieving greater Malaysian blog commitee keep on going. As per me, got no blog to promote, no blog talk to amuse... just another topic about girl's talk... ;) Enjoy!
What is girl’s talk? Mat Yan and me always wonder what do girls tell another girls? What they chat about? Story about? And why man can’t join girl’s talk? We can help too. Why if it’s when girls talk, and then a guy came, automatically they’ll change the subject? Even if they know us, we still won’t have that privilege to join girl’s talk. Do they think we’re not sensitive? And that’s why we can’t join them?
I was heading to Section 14, PJ, at a mamak stall to meet Mat Yan when the question pops out! It’s like at home when all my sisters were talking with each other and was having such a good time, and then suddenly I came in to join the conversation, they just stop talking. Silence hit the atmosphere, and I know that will be my queue to leave. Hmmm… Why can I join? If there’s a problem, maybe we can solve together. Maybe I can help? Who knows? But I’m a guy and guys are not allowed to join girl’s talk.
Mat Yan was there, having his nasi berayani ayam madu. His nasi was mounting with a big piece of a tasty looking ayam masak madu! Nyum! Nyum! Man… he makes me hungry. I ordered two roti nan cheese with a tanddori chicken. I asked him about girl’s talk and he too seems lost. Never join one. Is he interested with girl’s talk. Yes! Definitely!
Girls are like guys too. What they talk about among themselves is almost the same as what guys talk about with his friends. The most common topic that girls talk about is guys. They’ll talk about the cutest guy, the most popular guys and how they dream about dating that guy. They’ll discuss what he wears, how he talk, how he socialized around and how lucky any girl will be if dating him. And for sure, girls don’t talk about us; Mat Yan and me. Hmmm…
There was one time, back in UKM when Mat Yan and me were fat but not as fat as today. We had just finished an exam and we sat under a shades near UKM’s lake to release tension. We talked about how we would flop that paper as we know we didn’t study at all. Yup! We exchanged papers and we know our answer will be almost identical. But we don’t even care as we still can repeat that paper again. Then Mat Yan woke up from the shades, picking up small stones and start throwing it to the lake. Yup! He’s good in throwing stones as it will bounce at least twice! I’m still not good at that. I just watched him. Then came a girl out from nowhere. She picked some stones and started throwing it. She’s as good as Mat Yan! They were throwing stones side by side. I can see them talking and laughing. Lucky Mat Yan! He had such a good time. I didn’t join them as I want to give him a chance to be alone at last with a girl. They look so romantic under the blazing sun. Hahaha… After a while she left and say goodbye to Mat Yan and with a wide smile, he turned and walks to me. Hahaha… He was in love… again! I know him well enough.
I asked him what’s her name and he stopped smiling. He forgot to ask her name or where’s she staying or from which school? He asked me to follow him to look for her but I was too tired to do so. Maybe tomorrow we’ll see her again. Sorry Mat Yan, though everyday he went to the lake waiting for the girl, she never shows up! Maybe she’s too scared to see Mat Yan again. Hehehe…
The thing is, did the girl ever think about Mat Yan again? If yes, did she talked to someone and asked that person about him? Maybe the person she talked to knows Mat Yan so well or maybe jealous of Mat Yan and described Mat Yan as a fat gigolo. Hmmm… Maybe?
Girls talk about their private love life or about a guy she admire so much with her best friend. A friend that she trust very much. And what her friend thinks of that guy is what she’ll think too. She’ll trust her friend more than she’ll trust herself. And her best friend might be a girl or a guy. She’ll know everything that she wants and everything that she hopes. So, to get a girls, befriend with her best friend first. Once you get to know her best friends and makes them like you, there’ll be no problem. You’ll get the girls, as long as you keep your fart jokes to yourself.
Girls like to talk about how they spend their time together with their friends. They like to remember those sweet or sour memory and activities they’ve been through with their friends. When a girl tells this to you, remember it! Or if you can’t, take notes and don’t get confused. Any question, just ask them again. So when she feels down or you’re stuck in a situation where there’s a long awkward silence, ask her about the time she spend with her friends. She’ll tell it again with smiles as she’ll feel her stories are really interesting. At least, you can think of another topic while she’s talking. But don’t ever look uninterested! Though you feel so sleepy, look interested! That’s important.
Gossip is one of the topic that’s in girl’s talk. They’ll talk about girls they hate. How awful is their taste and dressed. If you’re invited to join such talk, you must always say yes to whatever they say. Agree to their opinion. Hate the girls or guys she hate and if you want, you can add up some spices by creating stories that the person she hate is worst than she can ever imagine. Easiest way… tell her that the person she hates love bestiality! She’ll be so shocked and she’ll thank you so much about the information. Who knows, you might get lucky and she’ll kiss you as a token of gratitude? Hahaha…
Love and life problems are also some of what girl’s like to talk. This is very personal and only shared among the person she really trusts. When girls talk about this, she’ll tell it whole-hearted. They are not ashamed of crying and when girls cry, guys will surely back them up! It’s a wonder to imagine what a drop of tear can do to you! But girls won’t tell all to a guy she find just as friend. She’ll only tell what you need to know and only half of the story. This is not they don’t trust you, it’s something like a safety measures so guys won’t think this girl in problem is trying to use him, pity her and then use him to get revenge. This kind of talk is something like advice seeking so the girl can make the right and best decision though in the end, it’s up to her to choose. Guys do that too, but guys tend to tell it in somewhat ego ways. We don’t tell all and sometime we make up stories so our friends will pity us. Crying is a NO! Except for Mat Yan. He cries a lot. I still remember the day we watched Titanic, he was so sad when Di Caprio sacrificed himself so his girlfriend could live for another day. He was sobbing and crying like a baby. Luckily we found a McD. A sundae will do the trick and washed his tears away. But still he sobs… hahaha
Girl’s talk also includes comparison. They’ll compare with each other. Hairs, dresses, make ups, perfumes and even their panties and boobies! And comparing themselves with the girls they hate is the best! If they have something extra from the girls they hate, they’ll talk about it for years and if their friends agree, that will last forever! For example, Mat Yan and me also compare us. Mostly of our sexy tummies. Maybe his tummy is rounder than mine but my hair tummy is the sexiest hair, man will ever see. Get it? Hahaha….
Once we understand what girls talk and what they need to hear in return, it’ll be easier to learn what they want. Most of them only want a guy who can be trust, love them forever and watch their children grow up forever. The keyword here is ‘understand’! So Mat Yan and me had a chat with a girl that’s so pretty and tried to understand what she wanted and setting our mind to act sensitively.
We bought her a teh tarik, and started the conversation. She was so excited and started to talk about her life, families and lovers. The whole two hours, she talked and talked and we were either nodding our head or said yes or aha. She talked too much!
That’s not a problem. We love watching girls talk. Those cute tiny mouth mumbling and we just imagine what that cute mouth can do other than talking and munching… :p The problem was, we couldn’t understand what she was trying to say. We managed to understand some words but the rest, we guessed. She’s an Indonesian. So cute but her slang was so difficult to understand. We smiled and nod as we imagined her as a jukebox playing some dangdut’s tune. Luckily she had to go back. She asked us to drop her at her house somewhere near SS 2 but Mat Yan declined as he don’t want to hear another word from her mouth.
That night we learn, to understand what a girl need, first of all we need to understand what the girl is talking about. If you want to go international, learn their language first. If not, there will be a communication break down and you’ll end up having headaches. Trust us!
Posted by -me- at October 24, 2002 03:18 PM