Once again, the issue of polygamy is back as a topic of heated discussion. Or maybe, more accurately, it never left; it was just waiting for another stupid male to open his mouth to re-ignite the issue.
If a Muslim man is financially, physically and emotionally able, it is his right (as compared to a privilege) to have more than one wife. Of course, the debate revolves what constitutes a "financially, physically and emotionally stable" man. How much money is enough? How do you accurately measure a man's ability to evenly divide time and love?
The Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. was not a rich man. At some point in his life, he had several wives. As Muslims are asked to emulate his actions i.e. the Sunnah, it is logical to assume that his actions can be emulated by the average person. So the argument by some that the privilege of polygamy should be the Prophet's alone because he was an exceptional man is flawed. If the Prophet, an "average" man, could divide his time and love equitably between his wives, it follows that today's average man can do the same, or at least strive to do the same (the Sunnah of the Prophet is an encouraged practice for Muslims).
Common practice of the Syariah in Malaysia requires the husband to ask and obtain written permission from the first wife before he can legally wed a second. I wonder whether the Prophet was similarly required to ask for permission? If he didn't ask permission, then it may be argued that common practice of the syariah is inconsistent with the Sunnah.
But then, i may be wrong. Maybe the Prophet did have round table meetings with his wives, asking each one for their kind permission before he married again.
The only person who knows whether a man is physically and emotional capable to be fair to more than one wife at a time is the man himself. His first wife can't say. The courts can't be certain. The woman he wants to marry can't tell either. Just as it is fair to assume that some men won't be able to be fair even if they say they can, it is also fair to assume that some men can be regardless of what their first wife or the courts say.
At the end of the day, the rights of four parties need to be balanced - "balanced" meaning that none should take undue precendence over the other.
a. The rights of the man seeking another wife (either as a means to validate an otherwise sinful relationship, or in his rights to pursue the Sunnah)
b. The rights of the first wife or previous wives (the new wife should not unduely change their standard of expected living)
c. The rights of the woman who would be the next wife (what if no other man will marry her except this man? does she not deserve a husband too?)
d. The rights of the children, both existing and unborn (Muslims are encouraged to marry for the purpose of procreation - one less marriage, means less children)
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