How much truth can you handle?
We all have secrets, things that we would rather others not know about. Secrets come in a variety of forms: the type that we keep because we're afraid of the consequences the truth will bring, the type that we keep because we're too shy to tell the truth, the type we keep because its not our secret to reveal, the type we keep because the truth won't hurt us but others, the type we keep because we've forgotten what the truth means.
We keep different secrets from different people. We keep secrets from our parents, but we tell those same truths to our friends. We keep secrets from our friends, but tell those same truths to our parents. We keep secrets from one friend but openly share the truth with another. We keep secrets from ourselves, for things that we would rather forget.
Is keeping a secret the same as telling a lie?
I've asked this of many people, and most (mostly women) have answered with a positive: not telling something of value to that person (i.e. something that person should know) is the same as telling a lie. Therefore, under certain circumstances, a secret = a lie.
This is something i don't understand. We make judgement calls all the time in respect to the people that matter to us. Keeping a secret from a person is another such call of judgement. It is not necessarily done in bad faith. Why is it when they find out, they get angry, hurt? They accuse you of being untrustworthy.
We all have our pasts. Things happen there that we may or may not be proud of. Things happen there that, if known, would adversely affect the present and the future. Is there a value in revealing the past? Do the people we love expect us to tell them about our past, eventhough it may have nothing to do with the present?
Its a tough call deciding the balance between the truth and buried past.