A friend told me today that she is getting married. She is happy that her long-time boyfriend has proposed, and she wants to marry him. But she's unsure of herself, unsure about her "readiness" to be a wife and mother. She can't cook to save her life, she's doesn't know how to look after a house, and she eats with her mouth open, muching away like a rabbit. 'Nuff said.
I looked at her for a moment and thought about her insecurities. Then i told her that i would give absolutely anything to be in her shoes right now. I told her that she's got an opportunity that so few people have, not even those who are already married. The opportunity she has is the opportunity to get things right. Bachelors like me, we don't have that chance because marriage is an option that has yet to become available. People who are already married, in all likelihood, their chance to get things right has already come and gone; they have either got it right, or they haven't.
But people like her? Those who are on the verge of marriage, but not yet married? The opportunity available to them is a rare one indeed. And i told her that she should embrace this chance and not to blow it wondering whether she's ready for marriage. No one is ever ready for marriage, not even those who think they are because no one unmarried really knows what marriage is really like. No two marriages are the same making those self-help books that claim otherwise worth less than the paper they're printed on.
If she spends this precious time she now has to doubt herself, her opportunity to get things right will be gone before she realizes she ever had it.
Her response to my advice? She gave me a million dollar smile. It was worth it.
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