Women make all sorts of little comments. Most times, they don't mean to complain, or sound dissatisfied, or in want of something they don't have or in disagreement with a current state. But these little comments do play on the minds of men, especially men who care for them beyond the normal boundaries of friendship.
"Gosh, that Tiffany ring looks marvelous, doesn't it?"
"I wish i could drive that car."
"Did you know: her husband gave her a house for her hantaran (wedding gift)."
"I'll never get a chance to visit Rome."
"Wished we went to the play; everyone else who went said it was fantastic."
"I heard the food at restaurant X is magnificent."
Passing such comments, perhaps in jest, perhaps as a casual observation, perhaps in the course of normal conversation during shopping or while attending someone's wedding is actually perfectly normal.
But for a man to hear them, it conveys a specific message: this is something she wants. And this message transforms into a specific action: this is something i must give her because if she wants it, therefore, if she were to receive it, it will make her happy.
This is actually a good thing most of the time. Men all over, myself included, grouse that they often don't know what women want because they never say anything. The logical course of this knowledge is that the man will do his best to provide for that want, to provide happiness and satisfaction. After all, a man's role is to be the provider (yes, some may consider this role outdated, but, sue me, i'm a firm believer of this).
Problems occur when the want is beyond the capacity of the man to provide. Then a deep feeling of insecurity and inadequacy surfaces. What good am i if i'm unable to provide the comforts my loved one seeks? Its a pretty low feeling, and one that's terribly unwelcome. No man i've ever spoken to enjoys feeling inadequate.
Personally, i work as hard as i do (and perhaps i should work harder still) to ensure my family will never have wants i couldn't satisfy. I want to be the husband and father (one day, insyallah) who will be able to provide materially and spiritually for my family. Success, to me, is the ability to scratch every itch, satisfy every want, provide every comfort, and protect my family. I would rather go hungry than to see my family in want.
