Ever since puberty, i've had dreams of women in different sexual encounters; the women in my dreams are people whom i've never met in real life. Perfectly normal, i would think. The funny thing is that the women i've been with over the years, they tend to object to me having dreams of other women.
I've tried to explain to them that such dreams are completely harmless, and though the dream was sexual in nature, it could very well be that the subconscious thoughts leading to those dreams are completely unsexual in nature.
In my experience, dreams tend to serve 2 purposes:
1. As a pressure valve: ever notice the funtion of the pressure caps on most pressure cookers? Built up over-pressure is released slowly to ensure that the pressure cooker doesn't explode. Same thing with dreams -- a dream of a sexual nature is a means of releasing the pressures we experience while we're awake. Its important to note that these dreams, while sexual, may have nothing to do with sex in our waking world.
For example, during a period of intense work pressure i experienced in the past, "happy" dreams were much more common. Dreams of holidays with parents, dreams of eating tons and tons of sweet chocolate (one of my favourite "happy" dreams!), and dreams of having sex with gorgeous women. All perfectly harmless, and they all helped me keep my mental health in check.
2. A reflection of our worries -- that's why we sometimes have "bad" dreams. As a boy, i was afraid of tight places. I've had a recurring dream of being trapped in a pyramid made of pipes and steel, caught between the pipes, pinned against moving and having the pipes continuously constrict and squeeze me in. Its a bad, bad dream, a nightmare that always gets me to wake up in the middle of the night.
In a previous relationship, i had a dream of my girlfriend having an affair with another man (she was doing nothing of the sort), and while i'm awake, its not something that i actively thought about. But because i loved her, and i had some insecurities in the earlier half of our relationship, those dreams occasionally popped into my mind. It was uncomfortable dreaming such things, but i knew they were harmless and it would have been very silly of me to act on them.
I think most people aren't aware that we dream every night, the moment our body enters deep sleep, Rapid Eye Movement (REM) begins that leads to the firing of our brains synapses which create these little movies in our minds. We are able to "view" these dreams we are not completely unconscious -- being partially awake (conscious) allows comprehension and awareness of the dream in progress. Occasionally, we are able to remember the dream when we do wake up, but most times we can't.
Sometimes, even rarer still, i've actually been able to "control" the dream -- the movements, the characters (always more than one) and the outcome. Almost always, these type of dreams happen very early in the morning, just when i'm about to awake, thus explaining the extra bit of consciouness needed to exert control over the events in the dream. Sometimes, i consciously try to keep myself asleep longer so that i can "finish" the dream. I had a Star Wars dream like this once. It ended very funnily.
Some interesting questions to leave you with:
1. Do you dream in colour or black and white? I dream in colour, but i know others who dream in black and white.
2. Do you dream in first person or third person perspective? i.e. do you dream through your own eyes, or do you dream "seeing" youself do the actions? I normally dream in first person perspective, but the sexual dreams i've had are usually in third person perspective.
3. Do men and women dream different type of dreams?
